First of all "haglights" is an AMAZING term! I always called them my "witchy grays," so the vibe is definitely right. My story is almost exactly like yours! I started going gray as a teenager and colored my hair ever since, but then used the pandemic to grow it out and was like "okay, this is pretty great." Of course, my own niece was like "uh, you need to color your hair" so we got to have a little chat about how just because her mom doesn't like to have gray hair doesn't mean that's how everyone feels, and it's probably best not to comment on others' appearance at all..
I do sometimes fret that maybe it makes me look older than I would look otherwise, but either way I am entering my crone era, and what good is being middle aged if you don't get to stop caring about what other people think of your appearance and do what you like?
I've been a silver lady for a good few years now - I got so tired of having to touch up my red roots every three weeks that I finally caved and embraced the Miss Havisham who was screaming to be released. I get just as many compliments rocking white curls as I did the red!
Could not love this newsletter more! You're right that there's just SO MUCH wrapped into women's appearances and what we do to maintain our appearances (or "let ourselves go," aka live the way men get to live all the time), and the intersection between that and the romance genre in particular is really interesting to think about. I'm all about embracing whatever makes us FEEL GOOD and I think there's a lot of power in modeling that for other people, too. Thanks for sharing about your haglights!
I have been “embracing my grey” for a couple of years now (I’m an Aussie so grey, not gray!)! Like you, I grew it out during the pandemic when going to the hairdresser wasn’t an option. I have grown to really like it. I have self-conscious days where I think people see me as the grey haired old lady, but generally I don’t let that bother me. I won’t go back to colouring - I’d much rather spend my money on romance books than hundreds of dollars at the hair salon!!
Georgie, All Along was my first book of yours to read and I LOVED it so much! I’ve bought four more of your earlier books (the Chance of a Lifetime series, and Love at First) so I’m looking forward to delving into those soon!
I have a complicated relationship with grays. When they first came in, I was in a stressful personal situation and didn't have the money to dye them. The combo had young things giving me seniors discounts. So when I could, I dyed it. The first time, I looked in the mirror and said, "There you are! I've missed you." I felt like myself again.
Then I got cancer and chemo took almost all of it. (I was rocking an old-man combover - I now understand! I did NOT want to get rid of what had stayed.) I collected the hair as it fell out and saw some gray strands mixed in with the colour, which surprised me. My hair started coming back in October in the same salt and pepper mix but it was SO soft, like a baby. And much curlier. So now I'm just growing it out to see what it will do and since I've never worn it this short before, I've come to a new acceptance. (I also don't want to mess up this fresh hair with chemicals - I'm using baby shampoo!)
Will I colour again? I don't really know. But for now, I'm thrilled to just have hair so the gray feels more like a badge of honour than a sign of age.
As one of the people who asked about haglights, I genuinely appreciate the commentary re: societal expectations, aging, the general BS of women’s appearances and how I may (or ‘may not) be viewing myself from a warped perspective. Sadly, I wasn’t being that introspective 🙃 and my question was totally surface level logistics because I love your hair. I’m finding more and more silver between salon appointments. I’m delighted to have a new perspective to ponder and a new hashtag to explore.
First of all "haglights" is an AMAZING term! I always called them my "witchy grays," so the vibe is definitely right. My story is almost exactly like yours! I started going gray as a teenager and colored my hair ever since, but then used the pandemic to grow it out and was like "okay, this is pretty great." Of course, my own niece was like "uh, you need to color your hair" so we got to have a little chat about how just because her mom doesn't like to have gray hair doesn't mean that's how everyone feels, and it's probably best not to comment on others' appearance at all..
I do sometimes fret that maybe it makes me look older than I would look otherwise, but either way I am entering my crone era, and what good is being middle aged if you don't get to stop caring about what other people think of your appearance and do what you like?
I've been a silver lady for a good few years now - I got so tired of having to touch up my red roots every three weeks that I finally caved and embraced the Miss Havisham who was screaming to be released. I get just as many compliments rocking white curls as I did the red!
Could not love this newsletter more! You're right that there's just SO MUCH wrapped into women's appearances and what we do to maintain our appearances (or "let ourselves go," aka live the way men get to live all the time), and the intersection between that and the romance genre in particular is really interesting to think about. I'm all about embracing whatever makes us FEEL GOOD and I think there's a lot of power in modeling that for other people, too. Thanks for sharing about your haglights!
As a fellow hag with haglights, I love everything about this. When you said you were keeping your hair gray because you like it (the best reason!), this essay by Samantha Irby came to mind: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/art-books-music/a43590494/my-taste-is-basic-so-what/
I have been “embracing my grey” for a couple of years now (I’m an Aussie so grey, not gray!)! Like you, I grew it out during the pandemic when going to the hairdresser wasn’t an option. I have grown to really like it. I have self-conscious days where I think people see me as the grey haired old lady, but generally I don’t let that bother me. I won’t go back to colouring - I’d much rather spend my money on romance books than hundreds of dollars at the hair salon!!
Georgie, All Along was my first book of yours to read and I LOVED it so much! I’ve bought four more of your earlier books (the Chance of a Lifetime series, and Love at First) so I’m looking forward to delving into those soon!
I have a complicated relationship with grays. When they first came in, I was in a stressful personal situation and didn't have the money to dye them. The combo had young things giving me seniors discounts. So when I could, I dyed it. The first time, I looked in the mirror and said, "There you are! I've missed you." I felt like myself again.
Then I got cancer and chemo took almost all of it. (I was rocking an old-man combover - I now understand! I did NOT want to get rid of what had stayed.) I collected the hair as it fell out and saw some gray strands mixed in with the colour, which surprised me. My hair started coming back in October in the same salt and pepper mix but it was SO soft, like a baby. And much curlier. So now I'm just growing it out to see what it will do and since I've never worn it this short before, I've come to a new acceptance. (I also don't want to mess up this fresh hair with chemicals - I'm using baby shampoo!)
Will I colour again? I don't really know. But for now, I'm thrilled to just have hair so the gray feels more like a badge of honour than a sign of age.
As one of the people who asked about haglights, I genuinely appreciate the commentary re: societal expectations, aging, the general BS of women’s appearances and how I may (or ‘may not) be viewing myself from a warped perspective. Sadly, I wasn’t being that introspective 🙃 and my question was totally surface level logistics because I love your hair. I’m finding more and more silver between salon appointments. I’m delighted to have a new perspective to ponder and a new hashtag to explore.