a love letter, to christmas (gone perfectly wrong)
my favorite novella, and holiday wishes to you all
Dear readers,
I want to start this newsletter by telling a truth that some of you might (secretly?) relate to: I don’t love this winter-holidays time of year.
It always feels a little bad to admit it to people, how difficult I find this season, since so many of my nearest and dearest find a lot of magic and joy in it—twinkle lights, ornaments, gorgeously wrapped presents, cookies and cocoa and chances to gather with colleagues and friends and family. Of course, I can see the magic and joy in all of it; I can even sometimes feel that magic and joy.
But the truth is, the holiday season often comes at an extraordinarily stressful time for me personally: usually, I am finishing up a big, mentally demanding work thing only days before the Christmas holiday is upon us, which means I haven’t had time to shop, let alone think about what to shop for. And while I’ve finished up one work thing, that usually means I’m also looking (alarmed) at the other work thing I’ve fallen behind on in the meantime, and wondering how much time I can steal from my “time off” to catch up (yes, I’m talking about writing, lolsob). I look around at other people’s lovingly decorated homes and think, oh god, I didn’t put anything out; what must the neighbors think? I listen to my mom tell me about the care and thought she’s put into buying presents for family and friends and think, Kate, you selfish jerk; you haven’t had time to purchase anything thoughtful. I scroll through an instagram full of photos featuring gorgeous Christmas trees and trays of cookies and gingerbread houses and advent calendars and think, Look how you are letting the traditions of this special season pass you by; look how you’ve worked too much to make time for what matters. And then, when I finally have a moment to get out there and try, I can’t believe how overwhelmed I am: the traffic is bonkers, the stores are crowded with people who look as frazzled as I feel, every swipe of my credit card is a reminder that all of us might be missing the point of this whole thing, anyway.
In other words: often, at Christmas, I feel perfectly wrong.
But for the last few years, there is one tradition that’s helped heal this feeling in me. While many of you who have followed me for awhile already know about it, some of you might not, and I’m not going to miss the chance to tell you.
Every year, I reread Cecilia Grant’s exquisite novella, A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong.
A quick summary for those who don’t know it: this novella follows a disastrous Christmas journey for two unexpected traveling companions who could not be more different: the uptight, upright Andrew Blackshear, who simply wants to get home to his brothers and sisters for their annual holiday celebration, and the cheerful, free-spirited Lucy Sharp, who only wants to escape, for a little while, the lonely but loving isolation of the home she shares with her widowed father. A minor carriage accident and a snowstorm ends up being the best kind of romance-trope derailing: fake relationship, only-one-bed shenanigans ensue. And everything—from the tea they have to drink to the food they have to eat to the clothes they have to wear—seems to go disastrously wrong along the way.
And it isn’t just the external plot events that upend this Christmas journey; it’s also the inner lives of the two people who are on it. Andrew knows he’s being stuffy and too rigid, but struggles to feel comfortable when he tries opening up and being flexible. Lucy has a keen sense of being an inconvenience, a naïf, but she simply can’t stop trying to make the best of a bad situation, even when it embarrasses her or puts her feelings at risk.
Lucy and Andrew are two people who so often feel wrong to themselves. But of course, together, they come to feel a sense of perfect, magical rightness.
I’ve said this in many places online, but Grant’s novella is not simply my favorite romance novella ever written; it is my favorite novella, period. It is beautifully crafted; it is poignant; it is kind and sensitive and maybe the best encapsulation of what I most want the holiday season to feel like. In Grant’s novella, the holiday season isn’t magical in and of itself: it is magical for the ways these two people (and the people they meet along the way) end up trying, in the most pure and small and simple ways, to make someone else feel seen and special and cared for (please let me know when you get to the scene where Andrew and Lucy team up to compliment the weak tea they are offered by their overnight hosts). It is magical because it reminds me that my failures at decorating, at baking, at buying gifts early or at all, at planning or attending the “right” events, are not really failures at all.
It reminds me that there are other things about the spirit of the season (and the spirit of being human) that matter so much more. It calms me down at a time that feels relentlessly stressful to me.
Now! I simply do not like to be this vulnerable on Main! However, if even one of you out there has trouble during this time of year and would like a comfort read that might help, maybe this email will find you at a good time, yes? Because Cecilia Grant must be some kind of holiday angel, she keeps this novella free all the time on all ebook retailer platforms, so I encourage you to give it a try. And please, do let me know what you think! I really hope you love it.
As some of you know, I have a book coming out early in the new year (GOSH! I AM SO EXCITED!), and you’ll hear from me soon about all the places where I’ll be in advance of release day. For now, know that you can preorder signed copies of Georgie, All Along at two great local indies, East City Bookshop and Fountain Bookstore, and you can sign up to see me and the magnificent Sarah MacLean at East City on January 27th for a special release week event.
What I wish most for you all during this season, however you spend it, is good health and abundant rest and moments of peace. And if the holidays sometimes make you feel a little wrong, know that you’re not alone.
xoxo
kate 🖤
I read A Christmas Gone Perfectly Wrong last year when you mentioned it on Twitter, and it was wonderful. I'll reread while things are in the oven this week and I really ought to be doing something else to fuel the magic factory or bring in the income...I struggle with the holidays too, so thank you for your honestly. It means a lot
I just appreciate your honesty about your experience of the holidays. I’m not like you … I am gleefully giddy about the holidays and then gradually (EVERY YEAR) worn down and down and down until a week before I’m like .. IS IT OVER YET?!?!? I am obsessed with all four Cecilia Grant books, and you’ve made the holiday novella (and, ahem, yours!!) two of the bright spots of my holidays.